But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from a illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love-life (if he’s up for it).
The work needed is usually in the area of developing a better tolerance for love and intimacy by clearing out whatever fears and blocks the guy has in the way.
Then he can go after a whole and available single woman. He’s the ‘other man’s’ competition, but not really.
The important thing about the married man is he’s probably coping with his limited marriage by doing something else (work, alcohol, substances, whatever consumes and distracts him).
I know the story books tell us that it’s better to stay together.
But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.
The ‘other man’ is probably afraid that he won’t be able to ‘handle’ a love relationship with a fully available woman.
He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my world that’s an opportunity for growth because triangles are no good for people.
Popeye was on to something when he ate spinach daily to increase his strength.
Bok choy, a relative of cabbage, broccoli and kale, makes up an important part of Chinese cuisine.
He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.
The ‘other man’ gets painfully left out, not yet knowing that is the best thing that could happen to him.
Fundamentally, they are unstable, like three legs on a table.