It’s not because you’re a fool for believing that good men exist. He seemed so great, so perfect, so kind, so consistent. If this story feels familiar to you, it’s because it’s familiar to EVERYONE.
It’s not because he’s an evil human being hell-bent on destroying your self-esteem. The reason your heart gets broken each time a new guy disappears is because you are SURPRISED when he disappears. Men disappearing is probably a semi-normal occurrence. And the reason it hurts so badly is simple: our expectations aren’t aligned with reality.
If you’re in a relationship, I can help you resolve issues to improve your connection.
You’re not really mourning the loss of a guy you never had.
It’s the difference in feeling between losing a million dollars (devastating) vs.
I hear you, and I agree that men could stand to do hundreds of things better to improve your relationships.
However, as you know, I can no more stop men from being men than I can stop the earth from turning.
As such, your lesson, as a woman, is not to wish men acted another way, but to understand how they DO act and prepare yourself emotionally.
Because a man can be really interested in you, sleep with you, act like a future boyfriend for a few weeks, and be doing the EXACT SAME THING with another woman simultaneously.You’ll be able to bounce back and persevere instead of quitting. 🙂 I guess I figured that most guys would turn out to be flakes.This is what’s going to pay off with a serious relationship in the long run. I did get caught once or twice building air castles, but the sooner that can be nipped in the bud, the better.This is what I mean about adjusting your expectations to conform to reality.I’ve had women tell me to chastise men to start following through more, to stop being so nice if they’re not ready for a relationship, to promise to call after having sex.Batterers use emotional abuse gain power and control over their victims.